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Tom Clark|United States

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Providing a Helping Hand: Help Yourself Before You Help Others

May 10, 2019

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Did you know that there are an approximate 300 million people around the world suffering from depression? Many of these people are running themselves into the ground and putting other's needs in front of their own. A good way to avoid depression is to help yourself first before you help others. 

In Metta meditation, for example, you speak about yourself first. "May I be happy, may I be healthy...etc" before you go on to wish happiness and healthiness for others. 

In other words, you cannot fill others with an empty cup. You must nourish your own needs before you begin to give to the needs of others. 

So the problem is, how do you help yourself first? What activities complete our self-care routine? 

Keep on reading to learn how you can help yourself and build a self-love mindset, so you are able to help others fully and authentically.

Let's get started.

Sleep Well

If you have been putting yourself last, chances are you are not sleeping as much as you should be. Adults need between 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and if you are not getting that, it will affect your health, happiness, energy levels, eating habits, and your ability to help others.

In order to get more sleep, you will need to alter a few lifestyle habits that you are currently doing:

Drink Less Caffeine

Yes, you read that right! Caffeine puts your body into overdrive, especially when all you need is sleep. Eventually turning you into a state similar to an energetic zombie.  Cut your caffeine habit down if you feel you are drinking it to be able to make it through the day, and also do not drink caffeine after 2 PM. 

Digital Detox

Being on your phone late at night is a major factor in having bad sleeping habits. Digital devices such as smartphones and tablets emit a blue light that will slow down or stop your melatonin (sleep hormone) production, which ruins your ability to have productive sleep.

Another reason to cut the digital devices before bed is the stimulation. When you are scrolling through social media, your brain is being triggered to a constant stimulus, calculations, and comparisons. This is not only horrible for your sleep, but this will also affect your overall well-being. 


Writing down your thoughts will help you to release any stored emotions and feelings you have from your day. If you go to bed worried about something, it will stay with you all night, keeping you awake. Journal a bit about your day, your emotional levels, as well as a few things in life that you are grateful for.

Have Some You Time

If you are going strong all day, every day, eventually you are going to crash. You need to book aside some time to be completely by yourself. Solitude helps you to connect to your inner being, which allows you to fully surrender to the moment without a need for any suits, masks, or acts that you carry around other people.

If you find it hard to do this, you need to literally book time in with yourself in your calendar. In this time, either lay in the grass in a park, sit at the beach, meditate in your room, something solo and something quiet.


Exercise doesn't always have to be intense, all you have to do is move consistently for 20-45 minutes and that is enough to completely raise your mood, balance your hormones, lower the chances of depression, and completely transform your health.

Some great ideas for exercise:

  • Yoga- a great way to calm the mind, get connected to yourself and move your body.
  • Pilates- a relaxed, core-strengthening workout that is suitable for all ages.
  • Walking group- Join other people who are on the same journey as you walk the neighborhood and get to know each other
  • Hiking- get connected to your roots as you hike in the forest among the trees, balancing your energy and moving your body at the same time.

Watch Your Finances Properly

A very common culprit to depression is a financial crisis. If your bank account is low, chances are that you will be too. In order to tackle a financial problem, you need to face it head-on.

Most people avoid their finances, they try not to look at their bank account, then pray for their visa payment to be approved at the grocery store.

Some ways to budget better:

  • Focus on ways that you can start making more money rather than just paying attention to how much you spend. 
  • Make your own food at home, rather than eating out.
  • Make your own coffee at home, instead of going to Starbucks or a cafe every day.
  • Start putting away money in a savings account, and do not touch it! 
  • Be conscious about your spending, do you need that item or do you just want it?

These are just a few pointers to get started. If your credit score has been affected by your financial problems, you could consider Tradelines as well.  

Now That You Know How to Help Yourself First, Now What? 

Follow this handy guide, and you are well on your way to knowing how to help yourself and put yourself first. Self-love is the most important love you could ever experience, so remember to fill your cup before you start handing it to others. 

If you would like to know more about self-care, we have many videos on this topic, such as prioritizing more peace in your life.